Monday, June 10, 2013

Jeffrey

Jeffrey Thomas

I was sitting at the computer desk a few weeks ago when I thought about the most recent General Conference and how amazing Jeffrey R. Holland is.  I looked up what Jeffrey meant online and it said ‘God’s Peace’.  With tears in my eyes I knew that was this 3rd little boy’s name.  Tyson means ‘Fiery’ and Andrew means ‘Warrior’ so I knew I needed some peace here.  In the temple the week before delivery Brian said what about Jeffrey Thomas?  That was it. 

The night before going to the hospital Brian and I went on a mini date.  We got some frozen yogurt and talked about what our life might be like with three kids.  We discussed my fears in particular.  For some reason I was really scared.  Not scared to have another child or the sleepless nights that come with a newborn but the pain from having the baby.

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I showered and blow dried my hair that night and finished packing everything.  The next morning I was up at 4:45am straightening my hair and putting on some make up.  We arrived at the hospital at 5:30am.

The morning rushed by.  It took 7 tries to get an IV in.  Then I had a very mild asthma attack right before walking to the operating room.  Everything just wasn’t going as planned but I tried my best to stay calm.

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I remember breathing through getting the spinal (which in my mind is nothing compared to an IV.  What is that about?)  They laid me down and got me all ready.  I remember seeing a reflection of my belly on the shiny round thing on the ceiling that holds all the lights and such.  I asked them to please make sure I couldn’t see that.  I did NOT want to see the operation on the ceiling.  I talked with Dr. Baxter as they got ready and I found out that he’s the same age as my mom and he joked about how an earlier surgery is better then waiting until noon (which is when I was first scheduled to go in).  I told him my joke about how he would have just sliced me open during lunch and he chuckled and said that would have been the exact case but all the nurses didn’t like my wording of ‘sliced’.  I remember Dr. Baxter and McCarter talking about the housing market as they started.  Dr. McCarter was putting in an offer on a house that morning.  I remember smiling at Brian as he talked about how it was a bad idea to build a house.  Little did he know, we had signed papers on Sunday night to build a brand new home in Eagle Mountain.  Then I remember them saying he was out and he was being carried to his little bed to be weighed and checked out.  He was purple and his arms and legs were flailing about.  I cried instantly out of pure relief.  It took what seemed like forever to hear him cry though. 

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They cleaned him up quickly and wrapped him up for me to see him.  My first thought was that he looked like Brian and has his nose.  I believe I thought the exact same thing on each of my boys.  He was born at 7:39am and was 7 lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long.  They took him to the C-PAP machine because like my other boys, he had trouble breathing. 

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While Brian was gone with Jeffrey I was left to be stitched up.  I remember feeling pain and immediately told the anesthesiologist with tears rolling down my checks.  It was a dull ache that was starting and I knew this was the start of the pain, the pain that I had been dreading for days.  By the time I was rolled into the room I was in so much pain I didn’t/couldn’t talk.  I couldn’t even give a real cry but tears were just streaming.  Nurse Jill, who I had come to love, did everything she could for me.  I asked to be switched rooms when there was one available since I was right by the nursery and front desk and all the commotion seemed to be adding to everything.  I don’t remember much but just staring at the wall or clock.  Jeffrey was only on the C-PAP machine for an hour and Brian told me the pediatrician said he looked great.  I remember the first time feeding him being a complete challenge.  During my extremely painful hours they tried to give me more morphine directly through the IV but it made it come out and my hand swelled up.  So they called in the top nurse and the anesthesiologist to get an IV in again.  It ended up on the inside of the bend of my elbow which was quite irritating while trying to do anything.  If I bent my arm just a little too much it started beeping at me.  Thank goodness I only had that thing in for 24 hours.  That night the nurses had me get up and they were all praising me about how well I was doing.  Each day got a little bit better.  And each day I seem to fall more and more in love with Jeffrey. 

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I have been debating with myself for 2 weeks about this post. I wanted to document Jeffrey’s birth while it is still fresh in my mind. However, it seems down right depressing in places. And you know what? It was. But I want to have a remembrance of the sacrifice I made to bring him here. It was a sacrifice in every way imaginable for me. Mentally, spiritually, and physically. I am extremely grateful for Jeffrey. I know the Lord sent this blessing to me so I could feel more of ‘God’s Peace'.’

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2 comments:

Murray Family said...

Love this post and hearing all the details. You'll be glad to remember it all. Sweet little guy! Those pictures are so adorable, and that last one of him and Andrew are SO cute!!

Ashley said...

I love that he's named after Elder Holland and how the meaning fits with your other boys' names. I think it's good to record big experiences, even when they're challenging.l